Another Freak in a Circus

you love all sailors, but hate the beach

2012-01-28T22:28:00.004+08:00

I'm not sure if any of you guys are familiar with the 'shipping' phenomenon that avid (or rather, rabid) TV show fans have about couples they love from a TV series or movies. Well, they don't necessarily have to be an official couple, maybe just a pairing of two characters that have chemistry. Shipping basically means you love 'em, root for 'em and want them to end up together. At the very least, once.You might ask, shipping? How old are you, twelve? To that I say, bugger off! I'm sexy and I know it. Tak taula pasaipa respon camtu. Anyhoo, since I'm now a rising apek DVD (Nazlin - watch the throne, beetch. haha), I've been downloading TV shows like crazy. But my favourite couples are always the ones who are not couples. Not yet, at least - hey, being in denial is my prerogative. I don't need permission....make my own decision...sing it! Here's the countdown of my 5 (or 6?) favourite 'couples' on TV right now:

5. Alisha & Simon (Misfits) - Salisha

It's a shame this show is not aired in Malaysia, but it rawks y'all. It's a British series about troubled teens who acquired super powers after being struck by lightning. Yes. Trust me, it is as quirky as it sounds - Alisha's power? She sends people into a sexual frenzy when they touch her skin. And Simon is a-dorable. Kinda retarded at times, but in an oh-so-cute way.

4. Annie & Abed (Community) - err. ade ke gabungan nama?

Coz both their names start with an 'A', susah ni.

Annie & Jeff (Community) - Jannie

I really can't decide between these two pairings. I used to love Annie & Jeff, but I get bored very easily and Abed & Annie are just hilarious. She always seems to fall for him whenever he plays a character. Han Solo, Don Draper..etc.

3. Franky & Nick (Skins - 3rd Generation) - Nanky? Frick sounds so wrong.

I don't know what it is about these two, but I just love 'em. He always protects her in subtle ways. I don't think she even notices it coz she's too wrapped up with his 'mysterious' brother, Matty. Whatevs. Another British show about teens that's not aired here. But this one's more rock 'n' roll. And drugs. And parties. And sex. OK, so maybe that's why it's not shown in Malaysia.

2. Bonnie & Damon (The Vampire Diaries) - Bamon

I loved them even before I knew that they actually have a 'thing' in the book series. Honestly, I think they have more chemistry than Elena & Damon. Probably coz Elena is annoying, wishy washy and so...insipid. "Uuuu Stefan is a bad guy now, I have to move on." Helloooo? Damon kills people without remorse kot. Bole plak ko terima. At least Bonnie accepts & see people (esp. Damon) as they are. I also kinda like Bonnie with Klaus. hihi.

1. Dan & Blair (Gossip Girl) - Dair

This is the one pairing that I thought would never happen. So I just ship them in silence for the longest time - otherwise people will be like, seriously? Then, just when I was about to outgrow Gossip Girl (I mean, it's basically a soap opera for teens), Season 4 happened. Dan & Blair (sort of) happened. And I just freaked! So now who's the crazy one, beetches? Gotta say though, they're the only reason I'm even watching this crap. They started off with this love-hate r'ship & ended up being soulmates. They know each other so well & accepts each other's faults. Also, they're sweet & funny whenever they're together. I just....awww...

So there you have it. Give some love to couples you have shipped hard for throughout the years. Come on, Pacey & Joey from Dawson's Creek? Rachel & Ross from Friends? - though I'm more Monica/Chandler myself. Buffy & Spike from Buffy The Vampire Slayer? Rory & Jess from Gilmore Girls? Veronica & Logan from Veronica Mars? OK, maybe I should just stop.

porn de replay

2011-12-16T22:22:00.001+08:00

Random conversation:

Bak Kut Teh: Have you heard of Rocco Siffredi?

Me: Who? Rocco Stiff-Ready? hahahaha (gelak lawak sendiri)

Bak Kut Teh: Hahaha. You ah, so dirty-minded one. Siffredi la.

Me: (malu skit sebab x rapat sangat ngan die ni) Ehek. So, who's he? Never heard of him. Writer ke?

Bak Kut Teh: No lah, he's this famous porn star.

Done.

And I'm the dirty-minded one here. Btw, Bak Kut Teh is a pseudonym for a chinese friend of mine, I didn't go to Kedai Bak Kut Teh Ah Lian, bought a bowl of Bak Kut Teh and have an imaginary conversation with it.

Talking about funny names, here's a clip from Graham Norton. Sorry, it's an old episode and the quality is a bit off.

eh eh eh

2011-11-10T18:56:00.000+08:00

Remember my entry on vibrators a while back? Well, apparently they're making (or already made la) a movie about it. Weird. Aku mmg patut dok Hollywood la camni. hoho. Hugh Dancy kot berlakon! Takleh jadik ni, kene tengok. Would you like a cup of tea? Sambil usap2 kucing. Sebab British.

wrong in all the right ways

2011-07-24T16:00:00.005+08:00

Recently, The Slim One got offended by her friend who commented that her left eye is smaller than her right. She was so offended that she proceeded to look up that friend’s FB profile & browsed through her pictures, ‘zoomed’ them up and search for any of that girl’s physical imperfections. Yes, she got defensive & wanted to load up her verbal gun with enough ammo to massacre an entire Third World country the next time she sees her friend. An eye for an eye, I guess (pun intended). You see, my sister doesn’t have a lot of experience in dealing with people like that, but I have had one of those friends since secondary school. There was this one particular girl who used to make weird comments to me such as:

“Eh, hidung kau tak mancung ek. Aku ade darah Pakistan skit, tu hidung aku ok.”

“Eh the corners of your lips cam jatuh kalau kau tak senyum.”

“Kau putih tapi banyak bulu ek.”

“Kalau ko tinggi elokla pakai baju ni…”

You catch my drift. Funny thing is, I wasn’t even insulted by these comments. But I think it’s because I’m ignorant of the implied meaning behind them at the time. Also, I wasn’t a vain person back then so I didn’t really care. Felt weird though (I mean, what’s her purpose in saying those things? What is supposed to be my response? “Erm, ok. Thanks?”). But since then, I’ve met a lot of people like her and my awareness has kicked in. I’m telling you, I have never been conscious of how “putih”, how short, how hairy, how gap-toothed, how big-assed, how pimply and how fat I am until somebody else mentioned it to me.

Because of all these venomous observations (intentionally or not) of me made by these people, I’d like to think that I’m above judging people for their physical appearance, but I realized recently that I have become maybe a little bit critical of my own appearance as well as others. Yes, I have become one of “those people” and my inner vain, bitchy monster has been unleashed. I guess it’s my defense mechanism after years of verbal abuse, but still. I should be able to resist from stooping that low.

I remember reading something about this in the June issue of Cleo (I think), that this phenomenon is called “body snarking”. We do it all the time, whenever we see pictures of celebrities, saying “That dress on her is hideous.” “OMG she’s getting fat!” “Her head is bigger than her body.” “She has a huge ass.” I’m ashamed to admit it, but I have made comments like this (most of the time in my head). It’s not surprising, since the article also mentioned that body snarking is often done by women against women. Why the HELL do we do this? Where’s the girl power yo? My sister’s explanation is simple: “They’re jealous”. This might be true, but I think there’s a deeper issue at hand. Maybe we’ve become so critical of ourselves, that we don’t think it’s a big deal to become critical of others. But believe me, it is a big deal. We women have low self-esteem enough as it is, let's not add fuel to the fire and be the cause to unwarranted plastic surgeries as well as anorexia and bulimia among ourselves.

From now on, let’s just embrace all our imperfections and other people’s as well. After all, what fun would it be if everyone looks the same? It’s like looking at a catalogue of designer clothes or watching a runway show: I can’t tell the difference from one model to another. So stop analyzing every single blemish, eye-bags or cellulite. Seriously, just stop. You can do it. Or if you can’t, please keep the comments to yourself. Thank you.

Courtesy of Budak Jepun: Although this is peppered with sarcasm, Imma use it as a positive message here. Hohoho - gelak santa claus skit. They were delicious!

p/s: My gap is opening again. Yeayyyyy! Menyesal tutup. Damn those young giggly dentists and their half-priced discounts!

...and no one around could tell us apart...

2011-07-19T00:46:00.000+08:00

I have found my kindred spirits! Bak kata budak pompuan yg sgt drama queen from Anne of Green Gables. hahaha. It's weird how people feel connected to those who share the same birthdays as them, or even the same star signs. I'm not really big on horoscopes or personality types & all that shit but I do feel excited when I read about people who share the same birthday as mine for some reason. Here are some of them:

Nelson Mandela

Vin Diesel

Chace Crawford

Kristen Bell

Benedict Cumberbatch (who plays Sherlock Holmes in the BBC series & creepy rapist in Atonement. LOVE him!

Plus: Clifford Odets (American playwright), Priyanka Chopra (Bollywood actress & former Miss World) & Steve Forbes (Forbes magazine - duh!). Pretty diverse bunch, eh? Yeayyyyy Veronica Mars! hihihi. Nasib baik ada gak pompuan. Selama ni trauma banyak lelaki je sama ngan aku. Apakah maksudnye? Happy Birthday, fellow July 18 Cancerians!

Crazy Like Charlie Sheen

2011-04-07T18:19:00.007+08:00

Last week, a friend of mine gave me a short story to read. The title is Hysteria, written by Eva Gale. I have no idea who the writer is, so I don’t have a clue of what it’s about. Of course, the title being Hysteria, I immediately assume it’s going to be about a crazy girl screaming that she’s seen her dead grandmother (or the frozen face of Joan Rivers floating ala Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland) sulking around the house. Imagine my surprise when I found that it’s about a girl who goes to a doctor to get her monthly ‘treatment’ for ‘hysteria’. The treatment in question basically involves the attending doctor to stimulate orgasm in the patient. Using their hands. Done. Hahaha. At first I was like, “Hoi kawan aku ni bagi erotica short story ke kat aku? Ingat aku pervert ke?” (Defensive org lain tau aku pervert). But then towards the end it is mentioned that back in the 19^th century orgasm was thought as the actual cure for hysteria among women.

Yes, only women get hysterical apparently (sexist bastards). Somehow I suspect this was a ploy by the male doctors – they get to grope and touch women’s private parts and get paid. Genius. Disgusting, but genius. But alas, they had the scientific evidence that was not only sufficient enough to back their claim, but also accepted by the society (Gee…I wonder why?). I guess orgasm does calm people down because it essentially satisfies their sexual needs/urges/frustrations. But must it be done that way? Also, did the women really have hysteria? Ntah2 saja. Hoho.

Scary

I looked it up on the internet and they actually have the advertisements for vibrators back then. How weird is that? I always thought vibrators were invented in 1960s or something. So yeah, I kid you not. Women back then (not in Malaysia la) actually let male doctors touch.them.down.there. They also bought vibrators like they’re toothbrushes, a common routine. I doubt most women who bought them even had hysteria.

This topic makes a great study for feminism in the 19^th century, no?

Even scarier

Did I blow your mind?

you pick a colour and i sing it for you

2011-03-24T14:29:00.000+08:00

If you're already cynical about love, don't watch this movie. I was depressed for days. Don't get me wrong, it's an excellent movie but I don't think I can handle the emotion. I know people always wonder how I can love horror movies with all the violence and disturbing visual images, but to me a movie like Blue Valentine scares me more. To me, this movie belongs in the horror genre. It's like one of my greatest fears being realized. How do you go from loving someone so much to feeling disgusted and disappointed by them? It's painful to watch. Heartbreaking.

Some of you guys already know that I can be emotionally retarded sometimes. I can be open about everything else because to me the things I actually talk about don't matter that much. But when it comes to feelings and showing affection, I suck. I don't even cry that much. Funnily enough, I do sometimes cry during a movie, but almost never in front of other people. Usually I just get pissed off when I'm sad (salah emoticon ni.....hoho). In that way, I'm similar to Cindy (Michelle Williams). I kinda hate her; so basically I hate that part of me. But hey, people don't react the same way when they're dealing with emotional issues. The more I'm pushed to the brink, the stronger my silence and resentment. That's why whenever I had a fight with my sister, she'd be the one to reach out to me afterwards, usually within 1 hour. Yup, my silent treatment can be extremely uncomfortable to others (Faux Frenchie: Guiltyyyyyyyyyyy!), but I don't do it on purpose, it's just the way I am. I wanna be more like Dean (Ryan Gosling), openly and bravely confronting his emotion (and Cindy's), but I don't know if I can.

Please don't watch this movie if you're a hopeless romantic. I don't want to be responsible for ruining your day. Or life. Yeah, the movie is THAT good. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams are officially my favourite on-screen couple right now. And I don't even like Michelle Williams.

p/s: the scene where he's singing and she's dancing - EPIC.

Somewhere Only We Know #1

2011-03-03T02:24:00.000+08:00

Since my chat with the sleepless Coy Mistress, I feel the need to quench my thirst for traveling by posting about places I wanna visit someday (hopefully in the near future). This will also serve as a motivation for me and maybe all of y'all. So, I'll be posting these places sporadically. But first - oh Vicky, Cristina, Barcelona! Barcelona has always been one of the places I've wanted to visit. Why? Feast your eyes upon these pretty pictures my friends, and I dare you not to fall in love.


The exterior (or if you want to sound like a douchebag - the facade) of Casa Mila

And here are some of the awesome chimneys of Casa Mila (which I think are waaaay cooler than the exterior itself):

Don't you just love how stoic they look? Like corpses. Okay, just me then.

This one is Casa Batllo


Its chimney (or plural - I have no clue whatsoever)

This is Park Guell, and some of the amazing designs that can be found inside the park.

And last but not least, the Sagrada Familia (sambil posing ala Godfather) - it's a church, albeit an unfinished one. The architect, Gaudi (semua dia nak buat), died before its completion, hence the unfinished part. But I heard they're going to complete it in the future (after leaving it like that for decades already, I think it should be left alone)

Before I bid you adieu, I shall leave you with this fantastic view of Barcelona at sunset. Breathtaking, y'all. Mi corazon! por que?- bantai pi la perkataan2 Spanish. Get in the spirit!

Heard it Through The Grapevine

2011-02-24T12:06:00.000+08:00

The last time I went to the movies with The Slim One, I encountered one of my pet peeves in the form of a woman. We were queuing for our usual popcorn combo when I overheard a 'conversation' taking place between the two people in front of us.

Man: Hari ni panas la. Awak rasa panas tak?

Woman: Sangat!

After 5 seconds.......

Man: Eh lambatnye line ni gerak. Bukannye ramai org pon. Lambat kan?

Woman: Sangat!

WOW. Such witty banter. And I don't think I need to tell you that this continued on and on and on. Thing is, I don't mind if it's a school girl saying that, but a grown woman? Really? And she said it while stressing both syllables, with a slightly higher pitch on the 2nd one. Sa-NGAT! If only everything can be answered that way.

What do you think of the situation in Egypt right now? Isn’t it horrible?

Sa-NGAT!

But the truth is, I am guilty of some inane responses as well. (e.g.: Tula pasal. Kan! Serius ke...Boley tak!) Now that I know how annoying that can be, I think I'm gonna use less of these fillers in any future conversation. Because they are frikkin' irritating, especially if you have to hear them every 5 seconds. On second thought, maybe that woman wasn't intentionally responding that way. Maybe she was just bored or can't think of a better response (that's why I usually do it). But do I still want to shake her like a British nanny? Sa-NGAT!

I Got It From My Mama

2011-01-01T15:08:00.000+08:00

Lately, Mamasan and I have been reconnecting. This happens probably because we've been spending time watching TV together. A lot. Ah, TV - the great unifier. We used to be really close when I was in primary school, but secondary school proved to be too much of a barrier, and university was a time for expanding your horizons outside of home. Dunno why, but it just happened. One day she's my sun and I'm her baby (insert a Justin Bieber-ey sound), the next she's The Authority and I'm a Bum. Or at least a hobo-like creature who spent all her time locked up in her bedroom. But now that Mamasan and I are chillin' together, I discovered a lot of new things about her. I also started to realize how similar we are, which kinda freaks me out. I mean, does the phrase "you're turning into your mother" comes to mind? Anyway, here are a few moments where I thought that Hey, I've got a pretty cool mom.

Example 1

My mom just coming into the living room.

Me: Ma, ni boyfren mama berlakon ni, tak nak tengok ke? (it's Harrison Ford in all his Indiana Jones glory)

Mamasan: Mmmph. Dah break lama dah. Tua dah die. Toksahla ungkit2 lagi pasal tu. - sambil gelak sensorg dan berlalu pergi.

HAHAHA. Giler perasan mak aku. err........wait. Kenape cam familiar je. Oh yeah.

Example 2

Justin Bieber's close-up face during commercial.

Mamasan: Tu APE tu??!!??!?

Done. Mmg insult paling hebatla.

Example 3

Toothpaste commercial on tv.

Mamasan: Dulu Darlie ni nama die Darkie.

Me: Hmmm? Darkie?

Mamasan: A'ah. Pastu laki tu pon negro.

Me: (flabbergasted) Biar betol! Giler racist!

Patutla depa tukaq nama ngan imej brand tu. Giler ke ape. So I googled this and found out that it's true. They did use both the name Darkie and the image of a black man wearing a top hat previously, because of the misconception that black people have extremely white teeth (eh tak yeh? hoho), but they changed it in 1985 coz of the whole awareness/sensitivity thing. And they say you can't learn anything from watching tv with your mom. sheesh.

Example 4

A documentary on slavery. Or sumthin'.

Me: Tengok mat saleh, sume bende diorg discuss openly. Mmgla diorg banyak agenda tapi at least pasal slavery sume tu diorg tak sorok. Kita kat sekolah buku sejarah mane ade cerite banyak pasal 13 Mei. Cume cakap bende tu sejarah hitamla, terukla pergaduhan antara kaum2 kt KL mase tu. Spesifik la skit(cakap cam pakcik2 kat kedai kopi).

Mamasan: Hmmm. Mama ingat dulu mase tu, mama kat rumah sewa dgn housemates mama, kitorg tutup sume pintu, tingkap. Tak berani nak keluar. Adela sorg kwn kpd housemate mama ni dok tumpang jugak. Sekali tiba2 kitorg dgr bunyi riuh rendah kat luar. Dgr org jeritla, pistol tembak2 la. Sume kelam kabut mase tu. Tengok2 baru perasan kwn housemate mama tu kene tembak. Mati depan kitorg.

Me: (terdiam 2 saat) Kenape mama tak penah citer pasal ni?

Mamasan: Awak tak tanye.

Isn't that the coolest thing ever? Well, not cool that someone got shot and died. But the fact that she had experienced that. No wonder she never complains about anything (well, except for us being spoiled children, and our generation consisting of a bunch of whimps). I do think that our society has become too complacent right now. We don't have any extreme crisis that may affect us profoundly like previous generations. Not that I'm hoping for World War III, but there must be a reason why the only thing we complain about is either our jobs (or lack thereof), or our love life (or lack thereof). Seriously? Is that ALL there is in this world? We don't deserve to sing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror or The Earth Song. Next time the MVs for those songs come up on TV, just hide your face in shame.

But right now, I might have to re-watch The Breakfast Club over and over again just to cure the extreme respect and affection that I have for my mom.

Dirty Harry

2010-11-29T12:42:00.000+08:00

If only ALL of our statuses and comments are as brilliant!

estoy obsesionada!

2010-11-21T03:45:00.000+08:00

1. Marrybrown's Spicy Seafood Porridge

I kid you not. This is the best porridge I've ever tasted. Didn't know Marrybrown is a Malaysian-brand fast food chain, though. Kenape nama Marrybrown? Ate the first bowl at Cameron Highlands, never look back since. McDonalds ain't got nuthin' on this!

2. Vampire Weekend

Love their songs. and sound. and style. can do without the name, though. kinda lame. keep playing 'Giving Up The Gun'. I see you shine in your way.....go on, go on, go on..........

3. Ten Word Wiki

Where contributors describe something or someone in 10 words or less. I laughed my ass of at these:

Angelina Jolie - Heavily tattooed kinky actress. Wants one child in every colour.

America - Like to bomb Arabs. Then cry when it happens to them.

Genitalia - Boy or girl part. Caution: when mixed, babies may occur.

English (people) - Likes: soccer. Dislikes: foreigners. Invented English, but can't speak it.

Voluptuous - Polite way of saying fat. Usually used by fat people.

The best insults EVER:

Matthew Broderick - Once played Ferris Bueller. Now sadly married to Sarah Jessica Parker.

Sarah Jessica Parker - American actress, bartender asks her Why The Long Face?

Keira Knightley - Beautiful British ironing board, doubles up as a film actress.

Andrew Lloyd-Webber - Writes musicals and has a face like a deflated football.

4. Book Xcess

This is the old one, though. Now it's bigger.

Cheap books. Nuff' said.

5. Alan Carr & Graham Norton

Alan Carr

Host of the best talk show on earth: Chatty Man! Showed me how boring American talk shows are by comparison. He's hilarious without being mean-spirited. Especially funny when Americans went on the show and didn't get the Brit's dry sense of humour & 'shocking' behaviour.

Graham Norton

Worth seeing just for his ridiculously loud suits. But he's funny as well. Sometimes in a mean way, though. Love it when he mentions funny websites. Also good at pranks.

6. Family Guy Season 9 Episode 4: Halloween on Spooner Street

A-dorable.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Turn Ur Swag On

2010-10-18T02:46:00.000+08:00

I've always thought that people 'back then' had more style than people nowadays. Seriously, if you look at the photos of my parents back in the 70s, you'd see what I mean (bellbottoms, tight printed shirts and side-parted hair notwithstanding). But in this post I'm gonna put in some of my favourite pictures of some of Hollywood's most stylish (according to me). Coz, well.....they're cooler. hahaha. I'm just gonna let the pics speak for themselves. Albeit with a lil' comment here and there. hihihi.

Of all the Old Hollywood actresses, I adore Bette Davis the most. Probably the reason why the song 'Bette Davis' Eyes' is always on my playlist.

Greta Garbo. She's just effortlessly stylish. And she pretty much kept to herself. You gotta admire a Hollywood actress who's not an attention seeker.

The Rat Pack - Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford & Sammy Davis, Jr. Well, there are more of them actually but I kinda like this picture of just the four. So, yeah. They're the epitome of cool.

How can you NOT like James Dean? I tell you how: you're crazy. Like asylum crazy. He's THE ultimate.Yeah, that it. Just the ultimate.

I know most people prefer Audrey Hepburn, but for some reason I've always preferred Katharine Hepburn. She's kinda rough looking but I think she's absolutely divine, dah-ling.

Well, hellooo there Mr. Paul Newman. I always feel kinda guilty and kinda icky for liking old/dead people who used to look like THIS. But hey, I'm only human. And I kinda like the fact that he was married to his wife for 50 years! Well, 2nd wife. But still.

Natalie Wood & Steve McQueen.What more can I say? I love them as an on-screen couple. And I love them separately too, of course. Just trying to save up some space here. hoho. Fun fact: that guy who plays Jeremy on The Vampire Diaries is his grandson.

Lo and behold, the original Factory Girl, Edie Sedgwick. Personally, I prefer her to Twiggy. Coz she's got that I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. And also coz I love her hair and eyes.

And last but not least, Sid and Nancy. Yeah, I know. They look like a couple of drug addicts. Maybe that's coz they were. But they look good together in pictures. I'm not really into punk music, but the style I kinda like.

I've always loved this one. He's like, "Beetch get a move on, will ya?" and she's like, "Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist!" Okay, so SHE's not British. But it's my imaginary dialogue. So bugger off!

Honorable mentions: Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, Elizabeth Taylor, Marlon Brando, Warren Beatty.

Inception My Arse

2010-10-16T01:27:00.000+08:00

From the title of this post, most of you would assume that it will be about the movie Inception. No, it's not. Although I will say one thing about that overrated piece of "stunning" and "complex" cinematography: I don't fucking see the point. And don't get me started on Avatar. I've seen better storylines on Cerekarama at TV3. (Ok, so I don't watch Cerekarama, but still. You feel me, bro? You feel me.) However, I do like the idea that one can enter the dream state of another person and.......well, experience what's happening there. And knowing that even when it's a complete nightmare, Freddy Kruger can't really kill you. Unless you suffer some kind of shock from seeing his ugly face and get a heart attack. Hmmm. Indeed.

So anyhoo, while the movie gave me a massive headache and a newfound hatred for anything "intellectual", it also got me thinking: what do I dream about the most? If someone were to enter my dream, what will they see? Well, I don't really remember all my dreams in detail, but I do have a recurring theme: falling. I am always falling in my dream; falling off a cliff, a building, a chair, etc. So recently I googled the meaning of dreams and got this website as the first hit: Dream Dictionary. It has everything from Cheese to Facebook to Zombies. I'm not even kidding. This is what it says about falling:

To dream that you fall and are not frightened, signifies that you will overcome your adversities with ease.

To dream that you fall and are frightened, indicates a lack of control, insecurity, and/or lack of support in your waking life. You may be experiencing some major struggle and/or overwhelming problem. It may also imply that you have failed to achieve a goal that you have set forth for yourself.

Oh no.......but touche my friend, touche.

But my favourites are the ones about animals and food.

Papaya

To see or eat papaya in your dream, indicates a healthy sex drive.

Contoh ayat: “I have quite an insatiable papaya, y’all!”

Orangutan

To see an orangutan in your dream, signifies your wild inner character and sexual desires. Alternatively, an orangutan suggests that you are being manipulated. (Baby Kailan: take note. snake no more).

Waffle

To dream of eating a waffle, indicates that you need to come down from your lofty ideals and approach life from a more pragmatic perspective. The dream may also be a metaphor that you are "waffling" or undecided over some matter. - Guess I should stop buttering my waffle then. hmmpfh!

Mayonnaise

To see or eat mayonnaise in your dream, represents disappointment in your waking life. It also suggests that you are being insulted or disrespected. Contoh ayat: "How dare you mayonnaise me last nite!"

However, this one trumps them all:

Maxi Pad

(let's not put an image here)

To see a maxi pad in your dream, indicates that you need to release some pent up anger or tension. It may also mean that some creative energy is being released or recognized. If you see Always Maxi Pads in your dream, then the dream may be telling you "always" is the answer to some question or comment.

Make of that what you will. hohoho.

What do you guys often dream about? Seriously. I wanna know. I've had some weird ones but nothing I could confess publicly. or I shall have to kill you & make it look like an accident.

You're Not My Facebook Friend Anymore?

2010-09-07T14:35:00.000+08:00

Recently, The Slim One asked me why I only have 182 friends on FB eventhough my account is almost 3 years old. Truth is, every once in a while I 'spring clean' my friend list (oh no she didn't!). Yup. That might seems harsh, but I only defriend ppl I hardly know, or don't have any r'ship with. I mean, we don't even comment on each other's wall, or hangout. or ANYTHING. WE are NOT friends. Basically either you or I made a mistake. Shouldn't have added you in the first place. Besides, I don't think you would notice. Since you have 675 "friends" and all.

Oh, and I also block creepy dudes who posted comments or send messages like "comelnye die......", "eh awak ni lawa la nak berkenalan boleh?" or "boleh x kalo saya mintak no fon awak?". I mean, seriously? Ni bukan e-kawan ok. e-harmony pon x. cube bertenang skit.

Anyways, I'm writing this post bcoz I came across an article on a website entitled The Tricky Art of Defriending on Facebook. It's pretty insightful.

Here are a few hilarious responses from ppl who read the article:

What I don't get is when you de-friend someone, and they try and re-friend you. It's like the ex-boyfriend who drunk dials you crying at 2 AM. Have some PRIDE, dude.

rhymeswithfeather

I unfriended an ex-boyfriend partly because I wanted to stop checking his page everyday and partly to get his attention. A few months later I saw him at a bar and decided I was capable of acting like an adult, now. So I refriended him and explained why I had defriended (though he hadn't noticed.) And I invited him to my birthday party, at which he ended up calling the cops (I've got underage friends). And so I unfriended him again, because that was a dick move.

treeofsneezes

This is kind of my issue with Facebook - it makes everyone feel so goddamn self-important.

schrodinger

I had a girl on facebook who constantly switched religious and political beliefs, and would post sweeping, uninformed generalizations about new and old beliefs. I finally got sick of it and defriended her.

But then she sent me a message asking why I'd done it, and all I could come up with was, "Oh, it must have been a glitch." We're now facebook friends again...

indiesandy

The only defriending I've done is either because I'd never said a word to a person in real life, or the person was just too offensive. I doubt they cared.

remedios

I weigh my friending very, very carefully. I consider every possible ramification. Currently I'm 'ignoring' my mom, my husband and more than a few nutty cousins. If they ever call me on it, I say, "Jeesh, ya know, I'm NEVER on that thing!" or "Wow, I didn't see your request, must be something wrong with my FB page!" Heh heh.

mandy462

She had hundreds of "friends" and I thought she wouldn't notice but she did and sent me an angry note.

MakeFetch

I periodically go through my facebook and defriend people. If I haven't spoken to you in over half a year, and you haven't spoken to me, and we live in completely different places, and never speak outside of facebook, I defriend you.

KungfuKid

I defriend people who begin to over-include me in the ups and downs of their romantic relationships. Yes, friend, I am interested to know about that gig you just played, but I did not need to know that 'it wud have been perfect if dat special some1 had been there :('.

MySandwich

Oh, I've got one. How about defriending on Facebook as a way of saying, "we're breaking up after 2-and-a-half years". That's right. The defriending came BEFORE the actual breaking up conversation. What an idiot. I'm glad he's gone.

HarmonyLane

My cousin recently friended me. I haven't really seen him since we were kids, so I had no idea what kind of man he turned out to be. Thanks to his status updates, I now know he turned out to be a total douchebag. Defriending him is not worth the potential drama, but he is definitely hidden.

kfkerfuffle

That's it for now, folks. Hmmm. Maybe I should check my FB page now & feel sorry for myself. Since I have 'only' 182 friends.

p/s: Do you guys think defriending ppl is a dick move? (bak kate treeofsneezes)

I Can Be Taylor Momsen

2010-08-27T14:37:00.000+08:00

My Unintended

forgot how much i hate his voice
even his laughter is liquid ice
a snarling hyena, ready to pounce
the coughing fit, an off-wall bounce

his know-it-all smirk keeps the mocking company
paper cut sarcasm with zero subtlety
nyeh-nyeh-nyeh continuing endlessly
I wish to God he'd drop friggin dead already

after all this time, she shivers still
his deep-set eyes ready for the kill
this unnerving effect remains his best weapon
one slip of the tongue, and you're part of the destruction

I can taste the regret oozing from her eyes
her only defence now is lies
panic inching through her every fibre
his move is made, he's waiting for her

his calls are never merely social
much less anything moral
the impending scheme fills me with dread
her sentiment is her own undoing, the trap is set

he knows where we live now, he'll come again and again
in our existence, an infinite bane
it's far too late now for any salvation
the swirling orange fire is already in motion

I guess we'll all burn at the same time.

p/s: where's my blackliner?

I wanna I wanna I wanna

2010-08-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

These are on my watchlist. Since the Pirates of Penang were absent when I went there, I shall continue my hunt in K.L. Damn u, expensive original DVDs! I shall not succumb to thy oppression! But nyeh. I don't think half the list will be available. Kang wat apek konfius je - "Ape itu? U tgk ini la, step up 3D. Best wooo....." Suke ati bagi random movie mainstream kat aku. No! Anyone knows any movies I should add to the list?

Requiem for a dream (dah lame nak tgk)
catfish
World’s greatest dad
Pathology
The good guy
the dead girl (sex with a corpse. not in a sexy vampire way. more zombie.)
My girlfriend’s boyfriend
Frostbitten
Dead snow
Day watch
Memento
Mulholland drive
the romantics
the kids are all right
the runaways
thirst (korean vampire priest. cool or what?)
get him to the greek
the other guys
red sands (lama x tgk shane west)
splice (adrien brody. woot!)
slither
trick r’ trick (ramai kate best. Sookeyh! aka anna paquin ade)
the girl with the dragon tattoo (Hollywood is gonna screw this one up)
winter's bone
joan rivers: a piece of work
the last exorcism

O’ Burning, Flaming Heart!

2010-07-27T17:03:00.000+08:00

Ok so…….I’ve heard of Tyler Shields before. But I always thought that he’s overrated, like Lady Gaga. Just another pop culture product we’ve been churning out in excess nowadays. Recently, I’m surprised to find myself having a change of heart (& mind) over these two artists. I can’t even bring myself to call them just photographer and singer/performer anymore. They transcend beyond that now, at least for me.

The reason I was always so stubborn & adamant to NOT like them is because to me, someone who present themselves through shocking & violent images are nothing but a couple of ‘shock jocks’. They like controversies because: 1) obviously, they get a lot of attention for it 2) MOST people would think they’re cool and deep, all artistic-like. While to me, these only suggest that they’re trying too hard, pretentious even. Like those school girls I often see, hanging out at malls, wearing dark clothes, short skirts and tons of black eyeliner, all dark and ‘gothic’ and shit. So suicidal and edgy, yet oh-so-sensitive. They can’t be tamed y’all (Stingray: Auw. Jgn marah).

I’m all about self-expression. And one of the best ways to do this is through what we wear (Coz I can’t paint or sing worth a damn. Words & clothes are all I have). Yeah, sure, ideally, we all want to wear whatever best express ourselves and whatnot. But I gotta be honest, most of the time I just grab whatever it is I have in my closet and dash out. Also, nowadays my primary concern is whether this shirt or that jeans can hide all the flaws that I have, rather than making a personal fashion statement (Yeah, I’m fat now, there’s now way around it. So sue me). I also realize something: why the hell do I want to follow trends? There’s nothing personal about that. That just sucks me right into conformity. A well-dressed conformist is still a conformist.

That’s why I’ve been slightly wary about people who claim they’re unique (or being claimed as such). We live in a world where everyone’s connected, especially with the internet being so widely used now. Nobody escapes from being influenced by somebody else. We ARE all conformists, we are ALL shallow; just at varying degrees.

I got too much time on my hands nowadays, and as these thoughts came creeping into my head much too often (note to Coy Mistress: otak aku kadang2 tak kosong), I decided one day to open my mind and let my prejudices flew out the window and really listen, really see. And so it was that I saw and listened to Gaga’s performance at the AMA 2009. I was blown away. She was amazing. I’m not saying that I’m completely in love with her now, because I’m not. But I understand her vision a little bit better. Still don’t like some of her antics (wtf is up with the Alejandro vidclip? Gay orgy extravaganza y’all), but I can appreciate her efforts.

A few weeks ago, I accidentally clicked on a link at youtube. I was looking for the trailer for Mad Men season 4, but I found a link to a ‘video potrait’ of Vincent Kartheiser instead (Connor from ‘Angel’, anyone?). The sarcastic voice in my head: ‘Yippe kay yay! It’s by Tyler Shields, young photographer extraordinaire’. But, remembering that promise to myself (to keep an open mind), I clicked on it.

It was……..heartbreaking. Completely, and undeniably, heartbreaking.

I look for his other video portraits. A LOT of up-and-coming actors/actresses participated (the hawt Sean Faris, Kellan Lutz, Deborah Ann Woll, Matt Dallas, Sara Paxton, Ashley Greene….etc.). I love them all (personal fav: the one with Matt Dallas, Alessandra Torresani and Tyler Shields). You have to check all of them out. They’re all on youtube, and they’re short. Most are under less than one minute. The concept is so raw and simple, but they speak to me. Just like that Gaga’s performance, I understand. They made sense. My heart literally aches as I watched the images on screen.

So I guess, maybe it’s not too late. Eventhough sometimes it feels like everything has been said and done (‘Shakespeare is frikkin’ dead!’ – J-Pop Girl), there’s always room for a lil’ bit of personal expression and experience. That despite the cynicism, the predictability of a mundane life, we can each try to be our own person and less of a robotic conformist who clocks in and out from 9 to 5. We can say more, think more and offer more to the rest of the world.

Maybe, just maybe, I can be....... more.

Silences (a.k.a Killing Me Softly): a very short one-act play

2010-05-13T17:18:00.000+08:00

Act 1, Scene 1

Random Makcik on LRT: What EXACTLY do you want to be doing after your Master?

Me: I dunno yet. (jokingly) Take a long nap?. hahaha.

silence.

Act 1, Scene 2

Cousin: Ko ni biler lagi nak kawen ni?

Me: (continue eating)

silence.

Act 1, Scene 3

Old Friend: Wow. Ko tak berubah ek. Tapi badan lain la........

Me: (bitter laughter)

(silent curse)

silence.

Heavy sigh. Contexts y'all. Three things I'm still figuring out. So *shut ur pie-hole!

*pembetulan
- setelah menyedari yg perkataan f**k mungkin agak kasar utk pembaca2 blog ini yang igt pie-hole itu adalah nama kedai menjual pai atau tat telur. dlm erti kata lain, pembaca2 innocent yg x suke mencarut. good for you.

What IS Love?

2010-04-10T14:49:00.000+08:00

One of my fav movies of all time is Addicted to Love (1997). Romantic comedy is not exactly my kind of thing, so I rarely find any movies in that category that blow me away. But once in a while I come across a gem like Addicted to Love. I LOVE the script of this movie. Everything is sharp, and witty, and most importantly, meaningful.

The two main characters basically represent two opposing views of life and love: Sam (Matthew Broderick) is a romantic & optimist while Maggie (Meg Ryan) is the cynic & no-bullshit realist. I, of course, fall into the Maggie category. HAHAHA. Aren't we all?

Anyway, one of my favourite quotes in the movie is this one, when Maggie explains what love means to her, as opposed to Sam's highly idealistic comment.

Maggie: When I was a kid, my father had this dog that started to get all weak and sickly. He takes it to the vet, who examines it and says a maggot must have laid eggs in the dog's butt. The baby maggots have crawled up, now they've started to grow, and eventually they're gonna eat the dog alive from the inside. He says it should be put to sleep, because it's an old dog anyway. But father won't do it. He takes the dog home, he puts it on the bed, he reaches up into the dog, picking out the maggots with his finger, one by one. It takes him all night, but he gets every last one. That dog outlived my father. That's love, Sam.

I agree 100% with Maggie. If u've seen the good, the bad and the UGLY in someone and still want them and want to be with them.........that's love. Forget the notion of TRUE love. I mean, every love is true, rite? Love for ur parents, ur lov-ah (i hate the term girfriend/boyfriend - so juvenile. but can't think of a better word), ur siblings, ur frens...etc. To me, u have to treat and appreciate every r'ship the same way. After all, they're all people u care about.

Romance is nice n all, but it'll only lasts for a while. For some people, it's pure illusion. And when the illusion wears off/crumbles, all u're left with is the ugly. So, see people as they ARE. And then decide whether u can accept/forgive all their shits, move forward and still love them. U don't have to like them on a daily basis (people argue, people disappoint) but as long as u're willing to let it slide, the relationship can lasts a lifetime.

Love is a work in progress.

Food for Thoughts: Some of My Favs

2010-03-01T17:46:00.000+08:00

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. - Carl Sandburg

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin

I found there was only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Life is hard. After all, it kills you. - Katharine Hepburn

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

Never fight an inanimate object. - P. J. O'Rourke

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. - Anonymous

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. - Mae West

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants - A. Whitney Brown

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. - Steven Wright

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. - Joey Adams

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally. - W. C. Fields

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

He who laughs last didn't get it. - Anonymous

I rant, therefore I am. - Dennis Miller

His Fearful Symmetry

2010-02-13T22:54:00.000+08:00

Warning: Skip this entry if u can't stand nudity. or in this case, partial nudity.

My favourite painter of all time: William Blake (1757 - 1827). Nowadays, most ppl think that he was a genius. but during his lifetime, ppl thought he was a psycho. (on account that he said the images/paintings came to him in the form of visions from.....well, God. or some divine figure, i suppose.)

The Angels Over the Body of Christ

His paintings are unique because most artists back then paint boring stuffs like flowers in gardens, or ducks in a pond, or a pretty girl knitting...or some other shit like that. They tend to mimic external reality....u know, things u can see with the naked eye, without really expressing any sort of internal emotion in their work.

Blake, on the other hand, painted scary images that make you really think. or pee in ur pants.

Hecate or the Three Fates

My favs have to be The Great Red Dragon paintings. Though I love all of his work, including his poems. (The Great Red Dragon, of course, is Satan - from the Book of Revelations in the Bible. so you see, it's not only the name of a really cool movie.)

The Number of the Beast is 666

The Great Red Dragon & the Woman Clothed with the Sun

The Great Red Dragon & the Woman Clothed in the Sun

The Great Red Dragon & the Beast from the Sea

We Love Dead Things: Part 2

2010-01-21T17:34:00.000+08:00

This is long overdue, I know. Well then, about them zombies...(in a ‘carry on’ manner). Hahaha. Ehem. I have no other excuse except for laziness. And to me, that’s a damn good excuse. So bite me.

Neways, I promised in Part 1 to offer some kind of explanation as to why IMHO zombie movies are more badass than movies about sizzling hawt vampires. The short version is: not only do they contain substantial social/political issues for ppl who want to get more than just popcorn when they watch a movie (i.e.: those who use their brains for more than just storage space), but they also have awesome mindless gory killing scenes for those who prefer to shove food in their mouth while screaming excitedly (‘ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod...what happened? Did he kill her? Did he kill her? Oh shit! Dude…that’s awe-some!’ – insert some testosterone-induced male grunts and high fives).

Admit it, sometimes we look like some of them in the morning.

Yes, zombies movies are indeed awesome. But for some ppl it might be a required taste. If you find yourself saying ‘What issues? Most zombie movies are about unnecessary violence. Children learn through example, you know. These so-called filmmakers just put a bunch of ugly people and smash the crap out of them and call it a movie! And in the end, there’s nothing to justify these acts...’ *end scene*

First of all, movie watching experience works both ways. As audience, you have to prepare yourself for what’s coming. Don’t go watch a movie with the word ‘dead’ or ‘zombie’ in the title if you refuse to tolerate what comes with it.

Basically, there are some important things you must have if you want to watch a good zombie movie and enjoy it: a sense of humour, a strong stomach, an apocalyptic view of the world and the willingness to accept that special effects/make up in movies nowadays may differ slightly from, say, those in the 60’s - 90’s (they’re not intentionally designed to be bad, you know. Well, sometimes they are intentionally cheesy, but not bad).

Some zombie movies like The (original) Dead Series by George A. Romero, 28 Days/Weeks Later and the Resident Evil series are more serious in nature. They serve as social commentaries on modern society – how we’re becoming immobilized by over-dependency on our mundane daily routine. So that when things go shitty and disrupt our lives, do we man up or submit into a catatonic state? They also make us question our own humanity: would you kill strangers or even your loved ones if they threaten your very existence? Btw, I'm glad I have great friends - Fake Frenchie and Baby Kailan - who unanimously voted to kill me off as soon as I am zombified/infected. And when there’s no law to control/stop you, would you relent to your animal instincts and run amok killing ‘zombies’, stealing stuff, raping people etc.?

These movies are some scary shits, y'all - gay voice ala Bruce.

Too heavy for you? Then opt for ‘lighter’ movies like Dellamorte Dellamore, Re-animator, Shaun of the Dead, Planet Terror, Dead Alive (Braindead) and Creepshow. These movies may sound stupid; with gory scenes that either disgust you or make you laugh but trust me, they’re good. These are the ones that you can watch just for pure enjoyment. If you get something out of it, then good for you. But to me, they are genius simply because there aren’t many movies than can make you cringe and laugh at the same time. If you enjoyed Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell last year, it’s definitely an indication that you will like these movies (and that you have an excellent sense of humour).

Watch them in all their gory-awesomeness and cheesiness before you pass any judgement.

Classics: White zombie (1932), I Walked with a Zombie (1943).

Seriously?

2009-12-28T13:34:00.000+08:00

Back in the 80s: when he was haaawt!

Not so much. Guess I'm questioning the open shirt more than...well, you know.

We Love Dead Things: Part 1

2009-12-14T10:28:00.000+08:00

Just watched two movies related with dead things these past few weeks: New Moon and Zombieland. It never escapes my attention that movies involving corpses tend to do well in the box office, primarily those concerning themselves with vampires and zombies. I know, most people (esp. girls) prefer hot sexy vampires to zombies, but I always thought that zombie movies kick far more asses and I’ll tell you why in Part 2. But right now, let’s discuss the most famous type of living corpse of ALL time: vampiyaaah….(insert dramatic voice)

In vamp movies, the male heroes (or anti-heroes) are almost always the vamps themselves. They’re tortured beings, not human and not yet corpses. They drink blood. They are pasty and good-looking. They read minds. They’re sexually attractive (after all, what’s more badass than a man who can kill you? Yeah, death IS sexy and those pale drawn-on abs don’t hurt either).

Served on a hot platter for hormone-raging teenagers and people (I’m not entirely excluded) who have raging hormones like teenagers.

Had this conversation with The Slim One the other day, she totally missed my point. I commented that in real life, no woman in her right mind would ever get in a relationship with a vampire. The Slim One stubbornly used a cliché as an argument: 'but if you really love someone, you wouldn’t mind what he is, would you?' Well, lady, I suppose you would be supportive about people getting it on with farm animals. Sheeesh. Just like how I won’t date any other predators such as lions or alligators, I don’t think a vampire is a suitable life partner no matter how much restrain he has imposed upon himself not to drain me to death. I do love me some vamps, but only in my imagination. And there, they shall dwell til’ the end of time. hohoho.

Make no mistake, these people who made vamp movies know their audience: women or people whose weakness is a desire for romance. In almost every frikkin’ vamp movie the protagonists would be star-crossed lovers ala Romeo & Juliet. And the main story line would be: 'I’m a male vampire, you’re a female human...we...can’t...be...together…(pained voice) or can we?'. The plot thickens – bak kata Fake Frenchie.

So let’s not be in denial and take them as they are: pure entertainment of oh-so-irresistible harlequin romances. Save for True Blood (which surprisingly contains substantial social issues. and harlequin romances). It’s not called a groundbreaking TV show for nothing – gosh, I should be paid for the free promo. Special thanks to Fake Frenchie (aka Future Apek DVD) for the downloads.

Some of the best out there. In terms of vamp novels though, Anne Rice’s are probably the safest bet.

Rarely do we see the really scary vampire types: if there are any, they’re not the heroes. Like this dude from 30 Days of Night. You don’t see girls screaming his name and tearing his shirt off.

If you wanna go classic, check out Nosferatu (1922) and Dracula (1931). Can't stomach old silent movies? Too bad. These are excellent.

why am i doing this again?

2009-12-11T17:13:00.000+08:00

this blog is not my diary. matter of fact, the only time i ever had a diary was when i was 12, and i got it as a birthday present. wrote in it religiously for about one month, got bored, life is happening all around me...yada yada yada. in the past i’ve been highly critical of things like that, so i’m not gonna contradict myself by putting out my ‘feelings’ about the daily and personal events in my life or sharing my ‘deep dark secret thoughts’ by ranting on and on while the world continues on not caring. this statement is not an attack on those who do indulge in such endeavour, because i do understand the appeal of pouring your heart out, much like i understand why people who can afford it go to therapy or why cats fart: it’s only natural. but my purpose in setting up this particular blog is to discuss random (and sometimes seemingly useless) topics and hopefully engage in a lively discussion/argument with the five people who will read this blog out of pity for their dear friend.